Knee1 Forumss


Created On: 06/04/2005 04:13 PM
 07/23/2008 12:49 PM

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I know your pain, and depression!!!!

I’m 29, and played basketball in college, and was very, very active until 4 years ago, when I tore my ACL. No problem I’ll get it fixed and be back to normal in 8months, right? Well after 4 years, 7 knee surgeries (to the same knee), and doctors’ screw-ups I can’t even walk!! I’ve had surgeries I did not need, and made me worse because of them. I’ve had microfracture, HTO, and 4 failed ACL surgeries. I’m too you for a TKR (total knee) so I’m confined to crutches and a wheelchair till I’m old enough.
I wish I had an answer for you, or could say “just hang in there”, but to me when someone says that it’s just like a slap in the face, since they don’t know how my(or others) life has been wasted by doctors and injury. I’ve been through counseling and all that crap where they say try to find an activity that you “can do”. See you like me spent their entire life dancing or playing sports. It’s what you know, it’s your social life, it’s your release, it’s your creative expression, it’s not just a simple activity, it’s everything to you!!! When someone says just find something that you can do that satisfies that void, they never had that void or passion about something active.

You are going through basically the same thing as a drug addiction, but dancing is a healthy addiction. Every time you pass by or see someone doing something you used to enjoy it hits you, and you crave doing it, and that triggers worse depression.
Ok, here’s my advice, and it’s not the stay positive, you’ll get better stuff, that people who have a chance of getting better will tell you, because in reality (and I don’t know your exact situation) you may never do those things that you used to enjoy ever again. And thinking you might or holding on to that dream just never lets you get over it. So, I say cry yourself to death (I did and do), but mentally accept the fact you will never dance again. This is the start of the process in breaking the hope, that has to happen to get on with your life.

And I apologize if the above, sounds so blunt, but I think only people in your situation understand your situation. Thousands of people telling you “to keep your chin up” it’ll get better soon are, of course trying to be nice and positive, but are doing a disservice to you.
 08/19/2006 06:37 PM

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Hey Nok,
I am 3 weeks into ACL Repair, VERY ACTIVE. When I am not playing soccer I am hiking flyfishing... In fact I had to cancel my Flyfishing trip to Yellowstone. So, I know how you feel.

Here's what I'm trying to do b/c I cannot do the things I love yet.
What things (other than dancing) did you enjoy that you might be able to do still? For me, lifting upper body is about it! So, I am going to the gym and working upper body. Soon I hope to be on the stationary bike, perhaps you can ride stationary bike too?

For the outdoors: I can't hike and wade Mountain streams, but I can still get out on the boat and fish, motor around, so that kind of gives me my "nature fix". Not ideal, but it helps.

Hope you can find some things that you enjoy and can do right now until you can get back into to dance
 03/08/2006 03:32 PM

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It bothers me to see everyone thinking that their life is over because of knee pain and surgeries. I have had 3 lateral releases done, one on each knee when I was 16 & 17 and another on my left knee when I was 27 due to scar tissue build up. I was out of sports for a short time - I was playing softball, racquetball along with skiing, biking, rollerblading, and practicing martial arts after all of that. Yes, I have had some pain from those activities, but you have to use your leg to keep your muscles up - especially after lateral releases. I have friends who have torn their ACLs and still ski and practice martial arts. YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER! It may be postponed for a short time, but with hard work and determination you will get through it and back to a normal life.
 02/21/2006 04:39 AM

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Hey! I have had 2 knee surgeries in the past 16 months. I use to dance and teach P.E classes and run x-country prior to my injury. I relate your distress. Walking to my mailbox can be a challenge on a bad day. I try to stay postive! If not it is easy to dwell on what I can't do anymore. I feel I am fortunate to be in rehabilitation at this point. My first knee surgery I was in bed for 4 months.Uggg. I lost weight and had no more muscle. I hope you feel better. It is easy to slip into a sad place w/ this kind of life stlye change. Nobody knows unless they have been through it. And I am learning to set small goals and beating the odds!
 02/15/2006 09:28 AM

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So many youngens with knee problems! God bless you all and how I admire your determination and drive. I agree that advances will be made over the next 5 years and you will be able to do more. I just try to stay positive and take it day by day and fill my days/time with doing other things that I enjoy. I'm presurgery so I'm still hobbling around but I am trying to focus on all the other things I love but haven't had the time to do because I was so busy running around all the time. I remember someone once told me that everything is temporary and I try to focus on that. You are temporarily set back right now, but be positive and pray that things will change. I know that having bad knees is a real curse. I mean I never realized how important they are! But honestly, things could be much worse for all of us. I am going to make a list of all the things I enjoy that I can STILL do right now and focus on that and be grateful and anything else I can add to it after the surgery will be a bonus. Hang in there, we are with you.
 01/27/2006 03:43 PM

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I'm coming from the same situation. I played soccer, and ended up having a lateral release on both knees. My right knee is still causing me a lot of pain, and i had the surgery done in july. I became really depressed about not being active anymore, and I wouldn't even respond to pain medications because of it. I've also had to withdrawl from school because the pain is so great... and I'm only 15. I still might need another surgery to find out what is wrong in there. I won't be able to play soccer again either.

My advice is to just stay strong about it. I know it's hard when you can't do the things you love, but try to keep your mind off of the pain. Things will get better in the long run... even if it seems like it won't. Good luck!
 12/11/2005 08:04 PM

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Hi, dont think you will live with pain for the rest of your life, eventually they will come up with ways to get rid of pain and you will find new things that you enjoy, its hard to see now, god bless you. Can you find a new hobbY?
 10/15/2005 08:53 AM

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i know where your coming from. i used to play state netball n it was my life! I had a knee recon wen i was 14, im now 17 n i need another. i will probably never play netball again, and i cry about it every nite! i hate that i cant do anything about it n that i will live with pain 4 the rest of my life!
 06/04/2005 04:13 PM

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Hi, i'm an ex dancer, performer...was very active until i had knee dislocation last Sept. After seeing different doctors and getting PT had to leave school, meanwhile i had lots of pain on my other knee. Finally after 7 months had to have surgery, lateral release and it's been 3 months and both knees hurt so muc, can't dance anymore and can't do most of the stuff i was used to, i'm so sad and moserable right now cause i still have to have surgery on the other knee cause my meniscus are destroyed. I'm so sad cause i know this is not going to end soon and i get so depressed just thinking that i'm not going to be able to dance or run or even go up the stair like a normal person again....some people say i should just accept i'm gonna have this for the rest of my life, and i don't want to live in pain for the rest of my life


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